Ups and Mostly Downs

It's not just you, it's my friends, my family, my gym, my yoga, my pilates, my hobbies, my everything. I've neglected my usual life for a while, all I do is sleep and the only time I go out is to go to work. I'm usually full of energy, love to read and socialize, dive into deep discussions... I hate all of this stuff now. My close ones are saying that everything that comes out of my mouth recently is negative and that I must be suffering from depression. All I did was get defensive.

It's 04:31 am, I just woke up, and I came to the revelation...what the hell am I doing?! This is not me!! This is the opposite of me!! I'm not a cynic! I'm not a slacker! I'm not an introvert! But wait...you have to understand

I went on a great vacation early August, part with my friends and part by myself to explore Andalucia, where not only did I explore our history but met so many great people from around the world. It was the first liberating experience/vacation I've had in years.

I return to Kuwait excited about my dog's new clothes and accessories I bought him from Harrods and Pup City... 2 days of him wearing "The DogFather" t shirt (which he refused to take off it became his favorite. Boy's got style 6ali3 3alay), then he's gone. I know no one cares in this country and they think I should just get another one! Or laugh when I cry talking about him. I covered the entire area with flyers and all people could say was "agssaah chalb!" My friends and the entire household turned into a search party for a week. Ta3abt.. physically and emotionally.. those of you who have a pet or have lost one would understand, it's like being attached to a person, even worse, your dog is your companion, and my pup was definatelly mine. 2 months later I can't even sit in the garden cuz I know that's his favorite play area, 2 months later I can't even smell sausage stew, cuz that was his favorite food. He was near and dear to everyone's heart, my mom (who never wanted a dog) remembers him when we eat, the driver who used to play with him non stop talks about him constantly.

I hope he doesn't think we abandoned him and I want him to know that we love him and miss him so much. Whoever has him now, I hope you treat him well, he was a prince in this house and he is a well trained, smart, beautiful dog!

[ Upon my return from my trip I wanted to post so many great pix I took while I was there, which I will tomorrow I promise. ]

Then, I find out that I'm supposed to have surgery.. which I did since it was an emergency although my mom was out of town. Lost my love (I had a long post in mind about that but will just keep it for now) and now I'm having problems at work. I hate it.. I hate everything. But you know what I think? I have a feeling that all of these bad things were meant to happen to me all at the same time, because God has something better in store for me in the near future.. I woke up with this feeling, and I hope this is all over and behind me, with a new day to come for me to go to the gym, treat myself to a mani and pedi, have a decent fo6oor/ga3da with my family, and meet up with my friends later tonight.

As I was about to wrap up this post, my friend messaged me from London, she's doing her MA and was encouraging me to pursue my PhD.

... Why not?